Caring enough to be Cruel

So I've had to deal with an interesting topic a lot lately not only in my life but also from stories that people have told me over the last few weeks or so. So today's topic is "Caring Enough to Be Cruel"...sounds twisted?...well it is. Ok so my question is why do people always have to use cruelty to get a point across? I'm not talking about physical abuse, I'm talking verbal. Instead of using uplifting verbiage, we talk everybody down to try and bring them up. We care so much that we scream at them. We want to help so we insult them. We want them to know that they are beautiful and deserve better so we tell them that they should be on a diet or that they are naive. You think they can do better so you tell them that they are lazy and stupid for the choices that they make. Etc...this list could be a very long one. I notice that I slip into this too a lot of the time. It's very difficult to be uplifting and motivational in a society and culture that is so negative and indifferent to people's needs. But we need to try. I know in my own life it is sometimes difficult when someone tells me something in a cruel way to try and look beyond that and think of their purpose for saying it. Often they really care and want what they think is best for you. They might, and often are right but there is such a better way to go about saying it.